Why are these parents not shocked over the pain?

By Janelle (December, 1999)

Hi. I lurk here all the time. I have a question for parents who circumcized/or will do. I lurk on the playgroup boards here, Oct. and Nov. My son was born Oct.31 so I lurk on both! I had my son circumcized and regret it. He was in pain and also ended up over a week in the hospital for an infection from the circ. It irritated his sensitive tissues and there were suseptible to infection. He got one. It was awful. Anyway, I was never truly informed about circ and now that something went wrong, I looked into it more and more. Boy do I regret my choice now. Not just for the infection, but the pain and the choice I took away from him, for nothing. Now I read it is not even recommended to do this!

Anyways, here's my question, I read on the boards today that these mothers HAD to circ their sons, just HAD to. No reason, just because. Anyway, one was saying how she had her son done recently (yesterday?) and he's 2 1/2 weeks old. She said he screamed and cried and she could hear him from the waiting room. Her boyfriend was with baby as she could not handle it. She was mad cause she felt SHE missed out on something by not being there to comfort him afterwards. That she was mad that she was not called in right afterwards...no mention of how it was so bad to hear him scream that she could not do it again. Then another mom replied that her son was done on day 2 and was next to her room for it. That he screamed in the beginning and she wondered why they never brought him to her right after. She eventually went to go find him and see why he was not returned to her. She said he was looking around, all sad and hurt looking. Ok, why were these circs done without the mother there to comfort the baby? Why were these mothers not so sad over the pain that they are wondering why they did it? I was there, I tried to comfort my son. He screamed and cried. He had a local, although now I learn it was not a good kind. There are 2 and he had the dorsel one, not as good.

Anyway, I am in tears as I write this. Why are these parents not shocked over the pain? Why are they not here, like us,asking why this is done? Or asking why it must be so painful? Why are people not asking why better pain control is not offered? I wanted to write to the one mother that how could we feel sorry for her when it was her son who really lost out? Not her! I messed up. I did. I am no better. But I have a conscience and feel extreme guilt remembering the redness of my sons face, the tears I thought he could not cry and did. Why does no one else but us get upset over this pan? They act like this pain is just a fact of life, that it was a surgery that was a must, instead of the option it really is. An option I am starting to wonder why parents have? It is not their penis! P.S. Those who remember me, my son is still very red and dry looking as his penis heals. Not a day goes by that I don't feel pain for him.

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