Lyle's Bris: A Father's Account

Well, I'll try to explain this... the basic "procedure" was NOT unusual ... but the events as they unfolded were... and reinforced my views on the entire MGM issue...

? Just to set up the scene ... Assume this room ... probably 12 feet wide and 15 feet long ... with a door near to one corner on the north side ... Along the east wall, from the corner to about 1/2 way along the wall is a long metal table ... In the north-east corner is a sink and between the sink and this table is an armchair. There are about 30 people in the room - my mother has 5 siblings so it's my aunts and uncles, my mother, my brother, and a few friends who have been "invited"...

The rabbi comes in with the mohel and his assistant ... the assistant is "in training" I guess and is there to observe ... my father-in-law is going to "hold the baby" so he sits in the chair and a cushion is put on his lap ... ("brises" don't use circumstraints - the baby's legs are forced open by a designated man, knows as the "sandek.")

Ok ... now they bring in the baby wrapped up in a blanket ...

I don't know who makes these presumptions, but just so you know, nobody has touched this kid - the synechia is NOT broken in advance or anything of the kind... That is a pure MYTH ... Well, I'm telling you it NEVER happens ... The baby gets passed around from person to person and finally ends up in my hands ... I give him to my father-in-law who sits down on this chair with the cushion. We're ready to begin ...

Remember where I'm "coming from" ... for 40 years I've been told to get over it, its just a snip, I'm making more out of it than it really is, nobody else seems bothered by it so what's MY issue, ... you know the drill ... So I have to think that I'M the crazy one ... and besides, its a cure for penile cancer and better than condoms for preventing venereal disease ... It's not just Jews ... Its 40 years of MD's telling me all this ... and, after all, doctors don't lie ... do they? No ... Put yourself in my shoes 12 years ago ... you know that's all bunk ... and now I know that too ... But 12 years ago, I didn't know anything of the kind ... Doctors don't lie!!!! right? =( and rabbis don't make up things!! right? =( And, I can't emphasize this enough - I REALLY believed - I was totally convinced - that "I'M THE ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHO THINKS LIKE THIS... 5 BILLION PEOPLE JUST CAN'T BE WRONG. I'M THE CRAZY ONE!!!" ? After 40 years, I had to come to the conclusion that I was just plain WRONG ... This was something good and wonderful and beneficial and medically sound and ... AND it had one added benefit ... [He'd look like you?] I don't believe in that shit ... Not for a second ... That is a PRO-CIRC argument and is patently FALSE!!! No ... the big thing was ... and remember, I believed all this then ... Circumcision is ?

"the PAINLESS surgical removal of USELESS SKIN!!!"

So why does he cry? "Because," I was told, "he's cold and because all the people there are making noise and scaring him ..."

So the baby is in my father-in-law's lap ... on a chair that is between a sink on the one side and this big table on the other so you can't "see" from the side of the chair ...

Now this is where it became unusual ? The rabbi is standing right in front and slightly to one side - say a south-west position relative to the "scene"... The mohel is kneeling right in front of the baby and his assistant is standing over more or less between the mohel and the rabbi ... You got this so far? ... I'm standing in the north-west angle to the mohel's left ... Between us all, we've effectively blocked everyone else's view ... But, big "but" here ... the "visitors" don't know that yet ... The mohel announces he's about to start ...

Wanna guess what happens next? [umm...... All the women run to the front and trample each other to get a look?] YES! Of course, they can't see anything because I, the rabbi, the mohel and his assistant are crowded around ... And that is what makes this situation "unusual" - the women didn't get a chance to watch (gloat?) ? I'm not really interested in watching this because I already consider it barbaric torture and disgusting ... so I'm facing away from it all ... The women are frustrated and are now swaying back and forth and trying to stand on their tiptoes (in their high heeled shoes) and stretching their necks to get a better "view." THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ... This (women present to watch a "bris") is a "modern" thing ... Anyway, the baby starts to really scream in all of this and the women start trying to shuffle around to get a better look at the "action" ... And I'm not moving ... and I'm starting to get "dirty looks" from them ... and I'm giving it right back to them... And the louder he cries, the more anxious they get and the more adamant I get ... Finally, he's given the wine and he stops screaming ... and they wrap him up and the rabbi makes a little sermon ... Then they take him back to Erica (who was NOT there for all of this) ...

Now this all takes place at 7:30 in the morning, so we had some coffee and cake and bagels for the attendees - kinda a light breakfast for many of them ... About 8:30 or so, everyone's gone and we get ready to leave ... lovely huh?

Oh yes ... I forgot to tell you about all the wonderful "comments" I received from some of the women "guests" who were upset that I "blocked their view" ... Their saving grace was that they don't make an adult-sized circumstraint for girls! Anyway ... just wonderful remarks and "jokes" about circumcision and the men standing cross-legged at the back of the room holding their crotches ...

So that was it... and I never thought about it again for a long time - but I swore I'd not go to another one again ... The whole episode just turned me off completely ... I felt like puking ... I was so disgusted with those people - especially the women who seemed to make such a sport of it all ... It reminded me of why I disliked Jewish women so much ... I've been invited to a few of these over the years ... I always come intentionally late ... it's the same circus with the same stale "jokes" from "the usual suspects" ... I really resent it ...

About a year and a half ago or so, I was doing some research on Prostate Cancer and I came upon "male circumcision" as a "men's health issue" ... it struck me as being really strange because for all these years it seemed like only *I* was smart enough to realize that this was wrong ... the rest of the world was moving along merrily on its way doing this with great gusto for all the wonderful benefits it bestowed ...