We both said never again

By Kellina, July, 2000

Hi-- new here... [I] had [my] first son circumcised with pain meds....[My husband] was present...After it was done, we both said 'never again'.

I thought I had researched enough on the procedure and stuff..Hahaha.. All I really found out was what our pediatrician and the few articles I found in magazines told me. I did know enough to request (actually insist) on pain meds. That is the only thing we don't regret is that we did have pain meds for it. At least he didn't scream thru it!

My husband was present as I made him be there. (The circuimcision choice was his -- I just went along with the 'gotta look like daddy' thing and it has to be better for him thing.) I told my husband that he had to be there- no questions. IF he was gonna do that to his son he had to witness it.

I cried so hard when they took my perfect little boy to be circumcised. Daddy says he only fussed when first strapped down and when he got the pain shot...[After that he] just looked around the room and sucked a pacifier. Daddy didn't fair so well [though]; he nearly passed out from the sight of all that blood and the cutting of that 'sensitive' area as he says.... 'That is what you get' I told him!

My little boy returned to me sleeping; I didn't even look at what they had done to him -until the next day. I made the nurses change all his diapers! I was so horrified at the mangled sight of my babies penis. He didn't look natural anymore and I was so shocked at what I saw I just started crying for the nurses to tell me what happened. They, of course, said it was a perfectly done circumcision and I would get used to the sight and it would all be healed up in a few days.

Well, those few days were filled with a once-100%-happy, calm baby turning into a fussy, crying irritable baby- one who hated to have his diapers changed, or to nurse or anything. He didn't want to be touched! We both were miserable! He obviously was sore down there and I gave him tylenol to try to help, but until he was about 6 days old, he just cried alot!

Then the plastibell got stuck (the string part) to his skin area where the cut was made and it ripped a slit in his skin. Of course he bled and the doctor had to see him immediatly and re-attatch the plastibell. More pain for him... and more crying for me. I felt so bad becasue if I had just told his daddy "no circumcision" my baby would never have gone thru this pain and uneccessary surgery. My husband felt really bad too; he was so upset that he would not talk about the decision he had made for a long time. Then when he finally talked [about it], he cried and said he wished he could take it all back and spare his little boy; [that] he wished he also had not been "cut" as a baby--he just never knew what it all took and what it really was.

We both have come to a mutual decision now to not ever circumcise another baby boy. I am currently pregnant with our third child, a boy, and he will not be circumcised. We cannot take back what choices we made with our first son, but at least we can make different choices in the future. It is so nice to be a ble to vent to someone about my feelings about our first son's ordeal, becasue I cannot -and will not- talk about the regrets with our son, except to tell him that we made the best choice we could with the info we had at the time and that based on the new info we have now we chose to not circumcise his brother and would not have had him done either, but that he is perfect in every way and 100% beautiful the way he is- that and his brother is 100% beautiful the way he is. (At least we hope this is what we can say and not cause problems.)

Anyone with any advice on having daddy and siblings not looking alike "down there" and how you delt with the questions etc would be greatly appreciated!!! We just don't want our first son to feel abnormal due to his being circumcised and his other brothers being intact. Sorry this was so long.. I needed to vent and ask for advice.. preganat lady here!

Thanks for listening! Kellina~

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