Avery's Circumcision (Age 4)

By his Mother (1999)

AUGUST:We're back, and I must say, I have no idea how somebody does this to a newborn baby, though He is in so much pain, and I imagine a newborn's pain threshold is much lower. [See Pain section on this site.]

Anyway, it went just as expected. He went in promptly at ten; they came and got us at 11. I was not prepared for him to be so upset after anesthesia, though. He was in enough pain; they gave him a shot of morphine in recovery, then codeine a couple of hours later. He left at about two... had to really try and convince him it was okay to pee because it hurt him so bad. I told him to growl really loud when it hurts, and that seems to be working.

Anyway, he got 15 stitches. They said it took longer than expected because he still had a lot of pus inside from his last infection and they had to clean that out. If it was yeast, can that still give pus?

Now we are focusing on trying to get the bandage off-- its stuck to the incision. If my efforts do not produce results, we'll let the doctor do it. I am unwilling cause that child any more pain. He seems to be content to lie on grandpa's bed and watch cartoons and have us wait on him hand and foot. He did tell me this morning he is glad he got it done. I have no idea why he feels that way, considering the amount of pain he is in, but it made me fell less guilty.

I do have one statement for those of you who think this doesn't hurt a baby: I believe that is absolute bulls____!!!! My little boy is in a lot more pain than I ever imagined. He can rest comfortably, but even his PJ's hurt him to touch it. A diaper was inconceivable yesterday. Do they put diapers on newborn babies right after?

I am doing well, am considerably better-- am glad it got done, if for nothing else but to get the pus cleaned out of there; [I} had no idea it was there! But, I am now very angry that this is a routine [procedure] for newborns. No wonder I always thought newborns were so fussy. Mine wasn't and I considered myself just lucky. Now I am convinced that with the boys, at least, it is because their little dinger HURTS!!!!

The bandage needs to come off, and [I] have to soak [it] in warm water, even though he screams at that. How can anyone support this?

SEPTEMBER: I have even heard the "It's Cuter" argument. So I guess Avery is so much better-looking now that he is circ'd. I tell you what: I like his penis a lot better [the way it was] before. He asked me while it was healing, "Mommy, why did they turn my penis inside out?" I swear he said that. Isn't that essentially what's done: You take something that's supposed to be on the inside, and put it on the outside, all because you feel like it? It absolutely disgusts me that we have the right to do this to our kids. But if we do anything else which is medically similar for similar reasons, we are [considered] child abusers.

OCTOBER:Well, I talked to the doc. I am soooo mad at her! She said, "Oh, I knew this would happen because I took off so much skin. But it was necessary to." I asked why, and she said, "because it was infected." I told her he had balantis, and the skin was not infected. In fact, the visible signs of the infection had passed by the time he was circ'd. She said, "Well, I guess you're right. If you want I can do MORE surgery to try to fix the problem."! I said "Like what?" Her idea was a skin graft. ??????????????????? Oh My God! Did I go ballistic! I told her she was crazy if she thought I would let her even get near my son's penis again. I told her she was lucky if she didn't get sued for this! And I had EVERY intention of reporting her to the med. board, which I have done.

I then called a family friend, who was one of the top urologists in the state, but is now retired. He said [that] Avery SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN CIRC'D TO BEGIN WITH! (Yeah, I know, you told me so!) He thinks I should sue her for malpractice because he [Avery] did not have phimosis and now there is nothing that can be done. This is not normal, although [it] frequently happens-- It's just not supposed to. He doesn't know where she is getting this skin graft thing; he thinks perhaps its an "experiment"! Oh My God! I am sooo mad. How dare she even consider that? Not to mention [that] to not tell me this would probably happen! I always thought [that] in cases like this, its like a car: they have to come out and ASK you before doing anything further! (Even when my old cat had to have part of her tail cut off, they said an inch or two; but then [when they] discovered it had to be more, they came out and asked if that was OKAY! Why did my cat's stupid tail get more respect than my son's penis?

Dr. Hollman agrees, though, [that] nothing can really be done, except moisturizers, and hope the skin stretches over time. He said this will probably be okay, but for me to expect him [Avery] to be in a bit of pain over it for a FEW YEARS! (Avery has nightly erections while sleeping.) GGGRRR! He [the doctor] said I can try to manually stretch it --is this restoring?-- over time, and this should help. Guess I'd better go investigate that, now!

...Who thinks I have grounds to sue? He [Avery] is not in excruciating pain, just "pain". He's not screaming at night, and he's just fine when he's soft-- just cries when it gets really erect.

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